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I've started answering the phone in ways that startle people. Things such as:

1) White Power! Can I help you?

2) Jesus Loves You!

3) Aycock Funeral Home. How may I direct your call?

Am I the only one who does this?

I do not do it with phone calls per se
but when wait staff and other random
people in public ask me How are you?
I use different unconventional replies.

1. Above Average
   
2. Disgruntled
   
3. Medium
   
4. Stabby
   
5. Fussy
   
6. Jazzy

This is one I've always wanted to do: http://www.youtube.com/...&feature=related

I actually *have* done this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpG0hqTt2go.

Damn, I was a dick for doing that.

Walt

i spoke with my friend the other day, told him i was in town, surprise visit, and that i was right around the corner from his place. made him go to the window of apt bldg and look for me. he couldnt see me. so i told him to stay on the phone and walk out to the corner and stand next to the traffic light. then i hung up and didnt answer his phone calls for 2 days.

 
There was this woman, Rebeca, that was an early partner in the shop. As it turns out she was a sociopathic flake and didn't last long. But for years after that we would get calls of people looking for her or Dobber. Mostly it was collection agentcies trying to find them. I got so sick of telling the same groups of people that she didn't work there any more and had not worked there for years that I just started makeing shit up. I swear every time there files were passed off to another collection agent we would get another fucking call. With that many oppertunities to experament you can get way creative. One of my faverits was to pertend that rebeca had died in some grusom way. I remember one time I got this really gullable agent and I had her going feeding her all the gory detales. Seen enough fatalities that I had plenty of material to draw from but what I was perticuarly proud of is how I weeved elements from so many diffrent events togather. It was a master peace. Dobber I went a diffrent route. I would tell the story about how he had a breakdown, true, and had been commited, unfortenantly not true. Or how he was now in prison. I'd usually weave then togather. How the police had been called about his unstable behavior and he had fought back grabbing one of there guns and wounding one of the officers. Again there was just so much matiereal to draw from like how he barried his dead cat inside rebecas potted plant, Long story. The point was that it was close enough to the truth that they would often buy it. They must have allready known some thing about Dobber or I doubt they fallen for it.
The bottom line is that bord people are just down right dangerous. I remember when I was building base gear and I started makeing a point of answering the phone, "Suiside pervention hot line, death is not the answer."

Lee

After I got back from Japan I found myself saying "moshi moshi" still. Moshi moshi is the equivalent to hello.

Sometimes I just say, "Speak!"

Haha, I did something similar.
In a Steven 'asshole' Seagall movie he answers the phone: "Speak to me". It made me laugh and I answered the phone like that for a while.

I Like to answer the phone and say "Knock Knock" when they reply "who's there" I say "Go fuck yourself" and hang up.

i, from time to time, say, "Jed's abortion clinic, you rape em', we scrape em'. Brings a good chuckle out from within