Basejumper.com - archive

Ever failed the attitude test with a LEO (law enforcement officer)? Generally not a good idea.

My favorite time was when I got pulled over on I-10 by a psychopath who though I was transporting illegal drugs through his county (I wasn't).

I never really had the opportunity to pass the attitude test but I did manage to generate some extra failure points.

Fail 1: When he said I looked scared and that must be because I had dope in my car, I told him that I was scared because he was a psychopath with a badge and a gun.

Fail 2: After I finally gave him permission to search my car I asked him if he was going to plant some dope in there.

Fail 1 wasn't too bad--I think he took it as a compliment. Fail 2 had him screaming at me.

Not really a fail but he was really pissed that he did not find any dope in my car.

Post yours!

Walt

The expression on the officer's face was priceless when I shot him in the gut.

Douggs did something to aggravate the cops when they drug tested the jumpers in Norway. He explained to them that even though he was a man, he squated when he pissed. So he squat peed in front of them.

I assume the expression was one that conveyed, "Sir, you have failed the attitude test.!".

Walt

Seems like that post was kind of a thread killer.

Walt, I thought you were banned from having a computer.
I'll dish up a story. give me a moment.
Take care,space

 
Joe and I was doing the donkey bridge in Az. Had a a ground crew

of GF and skydiver. Joe had this canopy that was ripped on the

3rd cell from a lineover into the trees in WV. So I mutilated it

in to a Beer canopy with my exquisite rigging skills. 2 cases of

beer dropped to to the LZ. I tuned the trim to spiral, only one

beer was crashed. Then, Joe and I was at the exit point and I

heard a voice. Joe heard it also. It was a cop on the

unaccessable side of the span. It was a classic "Get off the

bridge". Joe jumped and as I stood on the exit, the cop shouted

dont jump. Dont jump/get off the bridge. I took the latter but in

style. I said to the cop,"Seeya wouldnt want to beya" the last

part was in freefall Joe and I sucked down some of the beers

whilst packing as the ossifer was pacing the bridge top. He

shouted down that we were under arrest And I asked him if he

could through down the handcuffs. Joe was getting a bit angry

with my attitude, but whatever. Coupla more beers deciding next

step whilst watching and being watched by the cop on top. Ground

crew bailed and Joe and I decided to hike out the hard way. 3hrs

or 4. we stashed the gear somewhere mid hike and started our

ascent. As I popped up there was the cop just turning away and he

didnt see me.
I slunk back down and motioned to Joe that we were screwd.
Then the cop said "Come out with your hands in view or I will

blow your fuckinghead off." Game on. So I responded, "If you cant

see my hands how are you gonna blow my head off?" So I climbed up

and handed the cop my stashbag cause he wanted something in the

hand. Only helmet and knee and elbow pads, oh yeah beer also. We

needed to be hydrated in the desert of AZ so I chose to bring a

lot of beer on the the hike out leaving a case in the cave for

the next jump.
Cop asked "Where is your parachutes?" I did the standard answer

"hUH". then he got agressive and said that if i dont produce the

parachutes I will be going to jail. (Parachutes were 2 hrs away

like that mattered)
I said to the cop, fair deal.. (You know that you cant give up

your rig without a fight). Joe popped up and the cop had his hand

on the pistol which really pissed me off. So we started back to

the overlook an hr half away under arrest and then we got

thirsty. But luckily I had planned ahead for once in my life. So

I asked the cop if Joe and i could drink a beer from my stashbag.
The cop said yup and undid the snap on his pistol holster and

gripped the pistol. This made me so angry. I offered him a beer

and he said that he spent 4 hrs tracking us down and I asked how

many tonnes of cocaine passed thru and that he was an asshole and

Joe grabbed me and said stfu or I will kick your ass right now.

The cop said, I am only doing my job. I said we are only BaseRS,

We are only doing Our job. Joe glared heavily at me so I shut up.
Then. after a few beers we get to the overlook for the bridge and

the police car. Cop told us to take seat on the curb while he

radioed his monunental bust. It was clear that we were going to

jail. So having a 3/4 case of beer wasnt so bad. So we started

downing them. THEN a state trooper showed up. Questioned the

arresting ossifer and turned to me and asked "Where you from?".
I said Florida. He asked "Zephyrhills or Deland"? He said he

jumped El back in the day when it was legal and told the county

cop to just citate us and by this time we were totally drunk

cause we thought we were going to jail and the bar has a diff

meaning. So Joe and I were staggering, totally drunk in

anticipation of going to jail trying to hitch hike back to

SkydiveAz And then our Ground Crew found us. I had actually

forgot that we had a ground crew due to the beer canopy. Then

things got weirder but thats another story
Take care,
space

GREAT one!

Walt

If its really true then I want to know know how things got more weird. This is the first entertaining thing I've read in a long time. +1

Thanks, working on the wierd side.
Take care,
space

I failed to know there was an attitude test...

airport security.
asked if I could avoid being radiated.
told to wait, but I had time.
eventually, an officer appeared and took me to the screening area. I offered to help carry my things, but he said I was not allowed to touch them. fine.

after a length briefing of how he would touch me, he asked if I had any sensitive areas. I attempted humor and just my nuts. that set him off. he asked me if I wanted another person, why I was being so difficult, etc.

(actually, I think I've been far more invasive when gearing up tandem students.)

that man seriously did not appreciate his job.

That's an automatic fail! LOL

I always get the special treatment for airport screenings. A few months ago when I was going through the Phoenix airport and they told me they were going to give me the naked scan and the patdown, I motioned toward a couple of TSA ladies and asked if they could do it because they were kind of hot.

Fortunately these TSA people, including the ladies, had a sense of humor. One of the TSA guys had made some skydives. I came away from the experience feeling sorry for the TSA people who actually do the searches. I'm sure they get tons of crap from the flying public and don't think they want to do the searches any more than we want to be searched.

Not too crazy about their boss, but these people at Phoenix were definitely ok.

I hear it varies quite a bit from one airport to another though.

"Yeah, my nuts!". Wow, that must have been funny!

Walt

oddly, this WAS at Phoenix airport!

I actually tried to be friendly, but he seemed bitter.

they actually chose to pat down a retired, shield bearing, police officer as well. he seemed confused about it.

FYI Try not to moan when they are patting you down

I did not even "quiver in antici....paaa.........tion."

The weired side:
Had to go back an pick up the rigs 3 days later, Joe stayed on top. I did the hike and pickup, Met him again and then he asked what was that mark in the LZ. It seemed to be skids from a heli. Things went crazy from this point. Apparently, people got busted the day before jumping, we jumped and got busted and someone shoved off a dude on the next day Then we had to go to court As the judge read the charges, He ask if we were BASE jumpers and asked if we pack our own. The judge was totally cool and we spent 100usd Less than the other jumpers. But of course we were retards and set the court date as our next BASE mission. Then we arrived in some famous park in Utah after doing the donkey bridge. And jumped a well known site but later figured out we opened a new site cause it wasnt the well known site. i took up 4 cans of beer from the Donkey bridge for breakfast, Joe and I drank one so i Was elected to jump the other 2 beers down. Joe gave me the flight plan, which was to land on a sandbar by the highway, so I was like whatever dood I launch when I see that you are clear. He chose not to do the sandbar and to do a downwinder on the highway I was laughing until i realized that I was committed to the same downwinder.
I landed 10secs after watching him burn in. I decided to flare hard and early, Landed on my ass but the beer in my stash bag literally saved my ass. Everything was ripped ceptin my ass. Running to the car with beer flowing do.wn my leg was kinda cool except it was -10 F so it was kinda freezing. So anyway, we jumped in the car and left to go to the 4corners region. Meeting up with some students. We did a sunset load and these amazing lights appeared out of nowhere. I freaked cause I thought it was rangers. The others thought I was just paranoid but admitted later they saw the lights too.. And things got more weird.
Take care,
space

Ok, let me see if I have this straight.

You started off by dropping 2 cases of beer from an exit point using a fucked up canopy.

Then you and Joe jumped after a LEO showed up and said don't jump.

After landing, You and Joe started on a drinking binge that the LEO later allowed you to continue at gunpoint.

All the while you were talking shit to LEO and your ground crew wisely chose to lay low.

Another, much friendlier, LEO showed up and said to cite you instead of arresting you.

The ground crew found you and hauled you and Joe back to the DZ.

Turns out the local LEOs were on a real roll at that site around the time you guys got caught.

The judge let you off light, so you had some extra cash to make another alcohol-fueled BASE trip, where you opened up a new site thinking it was an already-known site.

Joe burned in on a highway. You burned in ten seconds later, nearly giving yourself a beer enema in the process.

You and Joe hit the road and things got weirder?

Yep. That's the Space I remember from back in the day for sure.

So let's hear the rest of the story!

Walt

im glued to my seat waiting for the next installment of fuck the popo

Yep...

A good example is Steve Jester jumping a bridge next to a cop.

If you're ever in court with Fastlights dont let him talk.

Judge: "Do you boys care to explain yourselves?"
Fastlights: "Well we were trying to make a base jump but a bunch of hilljacks on 4wheelers showed up with guns and held us until the police came."
Judge: "Hilljacks huh? Do I look like a hilljack?"
Fastlights: "No you look like a judge."

That story seems very familiar to me. I guess I'm not the only one.

Well my old friend i got one for you.. I was pulled for a seatbelt infraction. I had dreadlocks at the time to my bellybutton. When he pulled me I was directly yanked from the car and cuffed. He swore I had pot in the car. I told him they had no right to search the car as they are not trained to detect the smell. I had no pot in the car and do not partake in the car of that. I told him to get a dog who is trained to sniff it out. My plate on my truck was Base632 at the time. So other officers were called in to fuck with dreadlock boy. The tried to play good cop and bad cop with me and wanted to know what the plate stood for. I would not speak to any of them. I had 350 bucks on me when they searched me and demanded to know what it was intended for. I stood silent. They found nothing and let me be on my way with a no seat belt ticket. The ground was muddy on the side of the road so when I took off i stomped it a bit and sprayed the State troopers car with mud. I went on my way and picked up my kind. Werent wrong just early. I tried to file a complant with the DA for profilling but she said if he said he smelled it he can do what he wants.

Dreadlocks? Yep, that's an automatic fail! LOL

I miss you and Ruthie.

Walt

This thread is full of win. I look forward to new posts!

Pauly,
when you last visited Houston and I gave you a ride, you left pipe paraphernalia and some smoke hidden in my car without my knowledge. I was traveling on a daily basis to a federal facility subject to extensive vehicle searches. I found the smoke stuff after a month of your visit.

A few years back, i drove my GF home, at about 10 pm, i got in the car and after driving for 200m a police car showed up behind me, flashed it`s blue lights, overtook me and forced me to stop my car.

Two officers got out, one came over and the other had his hand on his gun.
He told me to stay seated and instructed me to hit my break pedal so they can see the break lights on my car.

Next thing i remember, was, these two morons standing behind my car constantly repeating phrases like:"That`s him, thats the car,... you see that round break light, thats the car...."

So i leaned out of the car, to ask what the hell is going on...
They responded pretty angry, that i, just drove 70kph in a 30 zone, and that when the police tried to stop me, i had escaped into the neighbourhood.

So i told them that i live in this street and that i`m only driving my Gf home, i offered them to show them the papers to proof it, because my car is registered to an adress on this street, but they insisted that the break lights were the same as on the car they saw and that they are shure it was me. They even made me look at my own break lights to prove their point.

When i told them that i`m pretty much shure that mine is not the only car of this type in the area, and that they should have written down the license plate, they got that angry that they told me to shut up and what charges are awaiting me if i don`t cooperate and admitt that it was me right now, and then finaly they ordered me to give them the registration papers.

After both officers looked at the papers and then on the street sign real hard, they were all quiet, gave me back my papers, got in the police car and drove away without saying a word or turning back.

That probably was quite embarassing for them

i drove around with pot in the passenger side door handle for months, and only noticed it when leaving a bar with my friend, and i told him to drive, and he said sure, just hand him the pot he always keeps in my truck.

Well I am truly sorry for that my friend. Guess I am a Dopeless hopefiend. Make it up to you next time we meet.



Peace my friend

Pauly