What a fucked up life.
Age 3- choked on a frog
Age 5- jumping on bunkbeds, fell thru window to second story roof, rolled off it to the ground
Age 6-fell in pool, drowned, revived by an old man that saw me fall in
Age 7-cape came untied after jumping out of the tallest tree in back yard
Age 9- fractured skull after failed attempt to ramp a big wheel personally modified with wings off a twelve foot retaining wall onto concrete
Age 10- concussion after failed attempt to land home made parachute(round kitchen table cloth and red yarn) after jumping from one story house
Age 10-got head stuck in rot iron fence and passed out, fire department had to come and bend fence open to get me out
Age 11-rock wall I was standing on at overlook gave way and I was hanging from a root over a one hundred foot drop
Age 12-Allergic reaction to insecticide at school, throat swelled shut and passed out
Age 15- high school sweetheart broke up with me
Age 15-Broke ankle bowling(didn't die, but it hurt like hell)
Age 17-Lost virginity to twins at the beach
Age 21-Got shot at by extremist in the former Yugoslavian region
Age 23- I T boned a car while riding a motorcycle then got run over by a second car
Age 24-kayaking in the wilderness, long story short, kayak broke, spent the night in the woods during rain and snow, hypothermia and exposure almost did me in
Age 25- while guiding on the Ocoee river I fell out and swam thru a class IV rapid and was knocked out and nearly drowned
Age 26- got tangled up in a throw(rescue) rope, under water on the Gauley River, had to cut my self free
Age 26- while kayaking the Ocoee river, I flipped over and was knocked out, nearly drown
Age 27-was shot at by a drunk driver
Age 27-life or death hand to hand combat in a cell full of rioting prisoners
Age 27- shot at by man that set fire to his house with his family inside and he ambushed the fire department and police
Age 33-inches from a speeding car that struck and killed the girl that was standing shoulder to shoulder to me
...I could go on and do some more recalling but I need to go take some more pills.