Noting else matters, for ever trust in who you are, and just GO
life is weighing down my free spirit and drowns the breath that kindles life
within
it never cares for what i do, what i know,
it is time to pull lifes big red handle and cut away from the rat race.
i had a jump that twice saved my life.
and turned me around 180, twice,
-i never opened myself this way
it was a 410-foot free stander
used a new home made platform for seperation
to gain, and when nothing else matters
you do what you must to save your life
left hand wrapped in lines, flaring was a must regardless,
in seconds.
not a pretty landing, but that is what saved my life.
that swollen hand, with small broken bones.
it alarmed me enough to go home, pack, and calm down a little
review, what happened, and go to the hospital to see about that hand
which was now just a mass of swollen skin.
there, the hand was a minor problem, the fact that i had 'silent pneumonia'
and was drowning in myself was what alarmed the doctors, saying i needed a ventilator,
and be in a coma while they suck out clean my lungs,
thats all i remembre until waking up and saying my left hand felt nothing and i could not move it
and other effects of the drugs given for induced comas-they said each time they let me wake up i swung someone to the floor if they tried to force me to keep my ventilator on-hands tied to the bed-i woke up to realize that if that
hand did not get hurt, i would have died at home within hours, from drowning in my lungs filling up with those fluids.
had i not gone to jump that 410
had i not fubared the exit, and wrapped my hand
into a death and life flare with the other and the broken one trying to hold on to lines for what its worth
had i not...
and just stayed at home.
i would be dead.
how deso that turn life around for a
'life changing' event.
it kept me from Idaho (i would of still died from the lung problem but on route to there,as this was my last huck on the local girl before taking off for the bridge)
is there fate?
is there something, some reason, some...
that allows, makes these happen?
why did my room mate die on June 10th, 4 days prior to his arrival from the USA,
why did we not make it to Idaho, as planned, would he still be alive, had we been gone to Idano
while I lay in the coma, he jumped the clif and did a 180 into the steep rock cliffs,
why, did he go, and i stayed here, all within days.
none of it ever will i know.
and will i really seroiusly ask.
as i have realized that there is no better time then now
to pull the cut away handle on life as i know it
and beging the transition to burn off this skin,
this life as it is....
and just be brave and JUST DO IT,
like Dave Ogison, my room mate who died on June 10 2010 in San Diego, at 34,
would say:
just do it!
cut away that which is not working and live daily for today.
he always woke up suprised and shocked he was still alive.
while so many think, expect, hope to become old.
live well into the elderly ears.
Dave lived each day to the fullest, he gave what he had to anyone who needed it,
thus he never had anything much, ne lived from sunset to sunrise with stealth
from noon till sun set with passion for free flying
we would get on the caravan together and DAVE ALWAYS said to me
'dont die you fucker"
and hes gone.
never to say it again.
i am going to wait for the FINNS to descent upon the USA, and find themthere, at Idaho-i will feel at home, with other Finns, and until then,
as i prepare to burn away this shell, and reveal the freedom
for my soul that Dave found-before he finally found that eternal exit that I now wonder what it meant, but do see that he was so happy, each day prior to this happening, happier then he ever was... in the time i knew him. that gives me peace, to know Dave did waht he wanted, and was surfing, doing things he'd only seen on the net! being a 'ountry boy' from a small ontario town, hims big grin as he cruised the sites in Cali still gives me the assurance that he truly was happy those last few months of his life.
is that now what we all truly want? to be truy happy for some time, short as it may be?
.
He quit his job, left his home, went on a journey he never would imagine he could do.
he had never been in a plane he did not jump out of the fucker was scared to fly commercial!
had to splash his face with water before getting on that plane, to find his dreams,
his new venture, new places hes never seen, been to
and stil woke up daily,
amazed he had lived through till the begining of a new day
as he always was half way gone
now hes gone
and im here
i feeling this way because im also halfway gone
and will also pull that big red handle in life
and follow Dave to find my dreams.
to go where i need to go
how ever i will do it.
someone asked Dave where do you find the money, the time etc to go?
(thinking of how do you get time off work etc)
he just replied,
you just go.
you just close the door and go, dont look back
i am stuck in a high speed mal, its time to pull that red handle
while:
I can't walk, I can fly!
is difficult because he changed so much in his last three months. He got happy, focused,got his dream-life. Dave finally figured it out and he was so excited to get home so he could begin his adventures. But it is an adventure he will never have. Keeping him present hurts me to the core because I completely understood him, I knew what he was after, I was waiting for him to come back to the house,and watch as he went on with his mission in lif – and then his journey in this existence ended.
Dave Ogison, June 10, 2010 San Diego, (from Ontario Canada, my room mate, friend, and jumping buddy)
