Mandatory: Change in procedure for contacting locals
APPLICATION FORM TO JUMP WITH LOCALS Due to the apparent complexity of coordinating old-time BASE-god and newbie "by-definition-idiot" interaction, the world base authority has mandated that all new and visiting jumpers submit a form WAB-69, in triplicate, prior to authorization for any new jumper to jump a local object.
the W.B.A. will, within 30 business days, forward a copy of the reviewed application to any registered locals. Locals have 15 days to respond before facing sanctions. Locals must offer the visitors at least 4 schedule opportunities from which to choose during each week of the visitor's itinerary, or, in the case of someone moving into the area, must give them all phone numbers, personal and business addresses, and a list of all their free time for the next six months.
Newbie applications will be respectfully-worded and grammatically correct. Any applicant who fails to follow this procedure will be ridiculed in the internet forums and probably emotionally scarred for many years. Any applicant who fails to follow common sense will have their genitals removed by a Thai she-male nicknamed, "cock-chewer."
In accordance with the procedure followed by the National Park Service, this policy was available for public review and comment (in the basement of some random government building, behind an old file cabinet) for the last 6 months. In the absence of any negative feedback from you, the public we serve, it has now been declared law. Thank you for your cheerful compliance.
That's just sick!!! 