Basejumper.com - archive

Just wanted to start a thread about the subject of starting base and explaining our choice to family/friends....
Since I haven't base jumped yet, but started talking about it with family and friends, how did you deal with it ?
How did you explain it when facing a strong opposition such as "why in hell would you do that ? you're going to kill yourself!" etc ...
I understand completly their reaction though, just need to give them the correct message :)

Probably not what you're looking for... but here's how it happened with my dad:

(5 months & 50 jumps after starting BASE):
Dad: "What's that? OH BRIDGE DAY? Are you going down to watch jumpers this year? I remember you saying you were interseted"
Me: "Welll.... I'm going down, but i'm not taking pictures"
Dad: "What are you doing then?"
Me: "Jumping"
Dad: "Uhhhhhhhhh"

The rest wasn't so interesting. It was mostly the initial reaction.

But seriously..

I sat them down and told them it was something I wanted to do. They probably won't understand it initially. I think after a while most people tend to accept it (in my limited experience). My mom especially doesn't like to know when I go jumping, but she knows that I do it, and supports me because it's something I love.

edited to add:
There is another thread floating around from a while ago if you search for it about this!

I find this section of the family and friend article to be pretty good.

hmm... i am glad my parents have accepted my BASE and Rope and flying, so i dont have to worry that much. i was asked not to do it, but then they saw how happy it made me. just explaining how much you love it should set them at ease.

and if it doesnt, and they continue to ask or insist that you stop, then i believe they are being selfish. it seems odd to say that worrying about someone elses safety can be selfish, but i see it as asking your son or daughter to stay at home indefinatly just so you dont have to be alone.

yes i guess you are right , it is a bit selfish but i think it's
a love version of selfishness :) parents don't want
their kid die before them , and I find it natural...
But on the other hand every parent has to let go at some
point...
I already talked family and friends about base, most of
the time it was more some kind of denial , like "yeah yeah, you won't do it anyway, etc..."
or a bit of anger from some friends too, saying i was super selfish , etc...
not easy to convince people that you really want to do something !!

how about this one...4months or so after i begin jumping, hi son.. what`s you doing in the past? ah, not much...working, started BASEjumping...and yes.. i have bought a new car, my dad: oh, a new car, what model? is it a diesel? how much did you pay for it? bla bla... so i didn`t need to explain much on this one....

previous activities can make explaining BASE much easier. rock climbing, back country camping, flying, years of skydiving, etc. create a progression that seems inevitable. have a history with risk-management activities.

any person who shuns physical activities but suddenly decides to BASE will create a shock.

extensive prepatory work will not only give you skills, but it will give your family confidence in your abilities. it will also show them how important it is to you; that it is not a passing fad or a lark.

How it was for me:

All of my co-workers at the time and some
of my skydiving friends thought I was nuts!

My Mom and my In-Laws don't really understand
the differences between skydiving and BASE...
they believe both are dangerous, but over time
were okay with my choice to pursue this sport.

My Dad skydives, went to BD in 2003 to watch,
and is going with me to watch/video this year,
so explaining it to him was pretty simple -- he
just asked that I get good training and be careful.

My Wife has 3 tandems and knows how much more
serious BASE jumping is. To get her to accept this
decision required more explanation. I started the
conversation almost a year before I took my FJC.

During that year I spent time researching, reading,
doing hop & pops on a BASE canopy, and this made
her feel a little better knowing I was working to be
very prepared. She also liked that I took a formal
FJC at a legal site, got good training, wear some
safety gear, and I am progressing very slowly.
_____________________________________________

Replies to comments by others:

ups --- yeah, I did paint an optimistic picture
using the stats, went something like: "there
have only been 90+ people die doing this in
over 30+ years, the gear is better now, etc."

calvin19 --- given your accident I am sure it
takes a big heart for your family to continue
to accept your activities, rock on dude.

johan420 --- That was hilarious, thanks man!

wwarped --- I agree with you, past activities really
help shape family & friends' expectations. A guess
another reason why skydiving should come before
BASE jumping

i told my parents after 5 jumps what im doing.
They never will like it,but they do understand that its my choice and they see it makes me happy.
today serval years after i started my dad still ask me each time we meet if i have new vid,or made some jumps.

Basicly they preffere to hear about it afterwards as they know im ok..

After all they are mom n dad..
My wife knew it before i had my first jump.
My kids knows it,they see vid and think its cool,theyre happy to meet my BASEfreinds an see how happy i am as im along other people in this lifestyle.

you made a very good point there!

[any person who shuns physical activities but suddenly decides to BASE will create a shock. ]