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To My Community of Skydivers and BASE jumpers:

No excuses. No bullshit. Last year in January many of you may have been looking for my body that wasn't found and thought to be laying in a canyon, ravine, or at the bottom of a cliff. In an attempt to try and take my own life i wrote a letter saying i had been killed, as well as made a phone call before going on to hurt myself that i was dead. After the incident, i left my truck at a restaraunt and took a bus to florida to get away from everything...

I spent a year trying to get my head back on straight and grow the balls to come here and make my ammends. i know you may not trust me or wish to be in my presence. but i am actively doing everything i can so one day again we can all play in the blue skies together and not have any animosity and wonder what really happened.

Again i am sorry. and i will do what i can to make it up to the entire community. I hope you will all forgive me and help me to learn more. i only want to be in the skies.

who are you? I was in a coma myself, so i dont remember anything about this. someone explain.

See thread here:

http://www.dropzone.com/...;;page=unread#unread

Yes, on behalf of your Mom, we were out scouring the countryside for you.

But no worries & welcome back, brother . . .

NickD
BASE 194

holy shite, i totaly remember that. kinda. only a little.

so, can we still tar and feather him?

after reading that old locked thread, i noticed some hoser from supertopo (climbers) site posting wanting to know how short of a drop we do, only, in the thread of the 'missing' jumper. I wonder how that happened

It sounds like he was asking if any sites on 'his turf' would have been a suitable (high enough to jump) place to search for the body.

359

Ahh... that makes sense. My bad. I would delete it, but i would seem like more of a moron.

thanks nick. im sorry for everything. im ready to just be a man about things, humble myself, learn, and do whatever it takes to get where i want to be. Im willing to listen to anything anyone has to say so i can get somewhere in the sport. im ready to be taught.

wellcome back bro,we all do bad once in awhile,aslong we learn from them..

welcome back.

we all need to realize this sport has harsh realities. Nick's list testifies to that. many have posted about serious injuries. it is part of the BASE.

please consider how others would be impacted if you had a real situation. your mother has already been put through a rough time. hopefully she understands and you made peace with her before coming here.

I really hope I'm stating the obvious... it sounds like you are committed to turning things around. kudos to you and don't hesitate to ask for help.

I think we've all been in need of redemption at one time or another...
Glad you're ok.

I don't want to be mean or harsh or anything, but here's my view on the topic.

You've heard of the boy that cried wolf? of course. The next time you die, people might not be so willing to help look for your body. just a thought

i know. i really messed up. I took a year off. got away from extreme sports. cleared my head. got rid of my baggage. and now i am ready to be dedicated and committed to the sport. i know it hurt a lot of people and a lot of people looked for me. i just hope they can forgive me and allow me back into the family, and be there for me like i will be there for them if they ever need. I appreciate everyones imput on this matter.

It definitely takes balls to come post this after the last thread about you.

that could be read in different ways..

either you want to punch him in the nose or you respect him from what his doing.. im confused...

I do belive that Scott shows by his post that he know he fucked up,but he still have the balls to try fix it back.. my hat is off..

Honestly, I don't know what to think about him. Other than what I read from the other thread I have no info on the subject. I'm guessing the people that have commented nicely toward him know more than I do.

A few things I would want to know if I was going to help him out, did you want people to think that you commited suicide via a BASE jump? Is that what you said in the letter and phone call? In the other thread it says your friend Mike called your sister and told her that you had died days ealier in a jump and that was all he told her, did he just say that and hang up? Did you ask him to? Did you want to commit suicide, or just to dissapear? Either way, why? Was leaving your truck behind so that people wouldn't look for you, or so that they would? It seems very elaborate, was it intended to be elaborate? Why do you want to BASE jump?

i didnt knew Scott as this went down as you see in the tread i didnt replyed to it either..

I do belive that Scoot had his reassons,they might fit us they probaly dont..Personaly i dont think thats what matter..He has stated that he know what he did were wrong,he apoligy and want to make things up again..

If you find your mate dead at the ground give him cpr get him back to life just to realice that he dies once again?
what do you do? let him be dead or try to give him life back? what are your reassons?

I BASEjump becourse i love life,thats why i never would stop trying helping my buddy in bad occasions..

Before you guys start ripping me appart then just to let you know i think what Scott did back then were really bad,but if you cant get over yourself once in awhile reaching out when a person reach out for you,well then in no time you´ll be all alone your self..

Im not demanding people to forgive Scoot,i have for my reassons i just stated above,thats my personality,If he hadnt apoligyed and wanted to make things better i wouldnt reach outh either.. but he apper to want to make it better,ill take the chance..

I wasn't involved in the search. I don't know him. I have no ties to him. I have no special knowledge.

as he came here to apologize and seems sincere, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to think I'll support anyone who truely wishes to learn from mistakes.

I agree with Faber on this one.

Not being apart of this great base community,I do understaand the comrotery of it, and the politics. (nuff said)

Being astranged from skydiving for 2 years in April, Still I know who my sky family is. (And they are always there for me) nuff said.

It wasn't more then 6 months ago I wanted to crawl out of my skin, I just couldnt take it any more.

But I've learned that tomorrow is a new and better day. Those feelings go away, as in. This to will pass.

I don't know you brother, but I know the mentality and the best thing your doing is stepping up, and showing face.

Now thats priceless, and you'll be a better person because of it.

Welcome back, and keep your head on a swivle.

E

Forgive and forget

I also wanted to die once. Never went as far as you did but I think I can relate to being that depressed and desperate.
Respect for stepping up.

If it can help at all, whenever I feel the shit is about to hit the fan, I always tell myself that there is somebody somewhere in much worse a situation than I am. And it's true. It is a difficult thing to be saying to yourself at the time because nothing seems to make any sense or have any purpose but you've just got to force it in. Take this advice with a pinch of salt because I know enough about those things to be dangerous, but it has worked so far for me.

You seem sincere and I wish you well on your return to the objects. If you're not sincere that's also fine because I am thousands of miles away and somebody else will have to deal with your crap

Then dont post


Is this 20 questions? who cares what the elaborate plot was or how it unfolded? the guy says he's sorry, and he's said this to the people he hurt. Which wasn't you, because you werent involved. Which means that you shouldnt be interjecting with all these irrelevant questions.

The decision to forgive him or not is left to those who this actually directly affected. Neither you nor I are in that particular group. (please dont say this affects you because it affects all base jumpers... kthx)

I gotta vent.
OK-
If you want to kill yourself,if you really want to die- you will. I know, i've seen it.
if you want attention, and to see if people care, and to hurt someone (like your mom) you do some selfish bullshit thing like tell your friend to call your mom and tell her you died making a BASE jump. (http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=2040311;sb=post_latest_reply;so=ASC;forum_view=forum_view_collapsed;;page=unread#unread ) then you watch what happens. I remember this kinda shit from high school.
if you're a really selfish fuck, you allow a whole group of people who don't know you (and a few who do) to suffer, and go out of their way to find your body, make their jump sites hot,.....
If you want to BASE jump- go fucking jump.
If you want to be "part of the club" prove yourself, then come back and ask forgiveness. It's enevitable that you'll meet people on a full moon night at a local site, if they like you it won't matter what you've done in the past, once they find out they'll probably say "fuck it he seems like a cool dude...that was then..."
If you want to be forviven for your sins, go to fucking church and say hail mary's or whatever.
Would i trust you with my life if things go wrong on a jump? Hell No!
Would i trust you with the knowledge of a site that i care about and work to keep jumpable? Hell No!
It only takes balls to ask forgiveness if you have anything to lose. It's easy to find humility at rock bottom.
Why don't you go find Mike, remember?, he's the "jumping buddy" that called your mom and told her you were dead. go jump with him.
If we meet at a jumpsite on a full moon night, say what's up, I probably won't recognize you, and we'll most likely get along.
Right now i think you're an ass.
Prove me wrong.
~J

thank you J, i was thinking the same thing. and scott i hope you do turn yourself around and grow up a lot. BASE is not a kids game. its not a game at all. -n

glad you're feeling better.

i've been called cynical in the past and sometimes i look at an apology as a calculated attempt to make nice. i won't say i haven't done it...but i have a feeling you're sincere and applaud the guts it took to post. but at the same time i can't help but think you've increased your chances of jumping with the locals.

I wasnt leaving things behind for people to think i had commited suicide. the truth is i had myself been the one to call home. I feared backing down if i said i wanted to commit suicide. instead i thought if they thought i was dead in an accident that i wouldnt be the one who "killed himself" and the plan was to hurt myself after the call. thats neither here nor there. I did a lot of F***ed up things. and when i couldnt go through with what i had planned on.. i got on a bus and went to florida to get away from everything that was welling up inside me. Im not here to explain everything i did. im here to just tell everyone that i am sorry. i want people to know i am not going to continue that way. that i really want to be in the sport and only to jump. I know that some may not want to forgive and allow me the chance to hurt someone again. I dont blame you. i havent always been the forgiving one myself. i just hope you can look past the bullshit i did, realize im here to jump and be a friend. and that i want to show this community that i am here for them. as they were there once for me.
I came here to take that step and prove to this community that im really honestly sorry and wont be one who wont stand up and do the right thing. I wish i could take it all back. I cant. Im doing my best. Anyone who is willing to accept my apology... Here it is. It took a lot of humbling myself to do this. but i dont want to be that person with a chip on their shoulder anymore. God Bless and Blue Skies

Didn't want to mention that because it sometimes comes across the wrong way but I believe God had a big part in helping me out. Just be careful whose spiritual guidance you take and give to the REAL needy, not the 500+ congregation preacher who really needs that new Bentley to better spread the word of God.

Take care dude

poc

there is a god.. but you wont find him at mega-church...

you just might find him at rock bottom tho.

That's a good one; so true even if taken litterally.

One Question, be honest please.

Are you appologising as part of a 12 step program?
~J

<< I appreciate everyones imput on this matter. >>

Scott,
My thought is the most important, valuable and accurate input you'll get will come from your Mom. (real family)
Your Mom is the one that is REALLY on your side. You caused her a lot of worry, pain and grief so if you have her blessing to do more BASE jumping and you don't mind dying go for it.
If not, better stick to real skydiving.

why? did you make it to 14?

Even if his taking pro help or are doing this at his own,his already done a fair bit..

He could just have keept his mouth shut and hide,but he step up tell everyove his sorry..

If i drop your beer at the ground and try to make it up by buying you a new one instead of just walk away or hit you in the face,would you then acsept my appoligy and take the new beer i offer you or are you turning me your back and walk away.angry forever?

If you pick the last one,i think you´ll need pro help.. and i wouldnt jump whith you,might even this post made you angry forever,as i dont know you you might be abel to "do my rig"..

I know all the above cant be directly transfered to this thing,but if you aint cabel to forgive even as a person say sorry,or atleast not beeing offencive then i think you have a problem..

You dont need to like evryone out there,but even as you dont like them you dont need to hate them either..

well thats just my oppinion...