Basejumper.com - archive

Hey,

I have printed some shirts after Russel's Great Adventure. They were supposed to be ready for Memorial Day, but of course they showed up the day I got back from Twin Falls.

On the front it says: "Not funny, not cool..." and it has a silhouette of a go-and-throw. On the back it has Russel's X-ray pictures and it says: "...and even paraplegics smoke it low." I've attached a picture.

I've send out all the ones I have promised to people, but now I'm left with a few more. Since I'm not allowed to advertize on this forum, I guess I'll just have to give them away.

All you have to do is explain in less than 32 words why you base jump.

Entries will be judged on creativity, humour, sarcasm, romanticism and history. The deadline is Wednesday 10:00pm PST. After the winners are announced, they will be contacted by PM for their address.

The small print; the judges will remain anonymous. Nonetheless, if you have a suspicion who they might be, feel free to bribe or blackmail through personal messages and email. Copyright for the winning entries will remain with the original author. However, the organizer reserves the right to print new shirts with the winning entries to serve as prizes for the next contest: "Why base sucks..."

Hey, I want one.

I BASE jump because I want to keep my name on this forum at least 2.44765 times per day.

I want one, but I have to make a moral stand against those 32 words or less goddam "tie breakers"; I would be the proud owner of 3 cottages in Brittany, 2 Lamborghini's and a personal walk-o-meter if some spotty little intern at Arse Wipe Promotions had bothered to read my entry more carefully....

So although I would love one, I really can't get involved.

(Count 'em )

This artificial limitation had to be installed after the recent dropzone.com ban on essays.

Those people going slightly over the 32 words, don't despair. If you're entry is of high enough quality, we will overlook this requirement.

Is this for fucking real?

Christ on a stick, jump more and type less...

I base jump because: I love humanflight, from diving(swimming), skydiving, to Birdman. I love it in everyform. From the friends and the interaction between people, to the solos all alone.

 

I used to BASE jump, but my girlfriend won't let me any more.... Does this count?


p.s. she get's really mad when i wear my BASE tee-shirts around town.

-smd7

p.p.s (at least i was honest).

HA HA

That sucks ass... she won't "let" you? Keep wearing the tee's, keep wearing 'em!

 

All you have to do is explain in less than 32 words why you base jump.

No doubt in my mind at all, Im old school. There's only two reasons to BASE jump. For the girls, and for the glory. Everything else pales.

It seems to me that he manages to jump plenty...and his reports of all that jumping is quite entertaining.

Don't discourage him.

rl

Here's why I jump in 2 words

.....so free

coz otherwise I would be shooting up snowballs into my feet at night.......

BASE jumping is better than FREEBASE'ING! So. yeah.

Why I BASE jump(in no particular order) with 32 Word's or less
~Because I love to fly,Word!
~Because What the hell else is there to do once the bars close?...Word!
~WORD!Because I never spent 6 months trying to figure out how to jump out of an airplane....
~ and not get cought.word!
~Because you should never date someone crazier than yourself (this really opens up the field)...word!
~Because I need the exercise.word!
~Because all that climbing sure makes beer taste good!...word!
~Because the view from down town looks so much prettier with a little wind in your hair.... Word!
~Word. Because no one knew I was there...
~....and I'll never look at that building the same again...word....
~Because being able to commit to something is a good habit to form....word.
~Because you appreciate your friends and family more when you realise they may not be there tomorrow...word.
~Word!....Because you appreciate yourself more when you realise you might not be here tomorrow.
Damn it's fun!...........WORD!
~Because they haven't found a way to make Viagra for chicks yet(word)
~....and BASE won't cause blindness...word.
~Because I never would have met any of ya'll (this may also appear on the why BASE sux list)...word!
~Because I don't ever want to forget what being alive feels like.....word.
~Because I can't explain it, I'm not an adrenaline junke or a daredevil,I like puzzles,I like doing things that no one has ever done before,I like getting away with it,sunsets are awesome,flying is rad,I like the sound of a parachute opening,I think waking up 300 parrots simultaniously in the middle of the night is funny as hell(hookitt gets it),I like seeing that one wino down on the street, from the exit point and thinking "won't he be surprised"....I like that I will think of 5 more reasons as soon as I hit post reply........word.
and becaure it keeps me out of trouble
nice I made it with only 19 word's!
Werd!
~J

You forgot the "i" that goes after the "W".

agreed!

I BASE, therefore I am.

BASE= (E=MC^2)

Hey Vanilla Ice (word!), unless I get your itinerary you'll be on your own next Sunday. Heathrow has four terminals, some details like airline, flight nr, terminal etc. would be nice.

I BASE because if I don't get scared like hell from time to time I get bored.

I BASE because I'm dead without it.
700

"Ich springe also bin ich"

translation: I jump there for I am

Sorry, I cannot claim to be the original author, just saw this painted on a bridge railing in Upper Bavaria, winter 1986.

 
I BASE because my mother told me to ....

She said "if xxx jumped off a cliff would you?"

Mother - the answer is YES ....

I BASE because my mother told me to ....

She said "if xxx jumped off a cliff would you?"

Mother - the answer is YES ....

Yeah, what he said...
and besides, it makes me wet.

K

Do I get a shirt?

dind! ding! ding!

I know it's not my decision, but;
I believe we have our winner...

It does? I never noticed.

(ducks for cover)

Would be interesting to be in the LZ after a 2-Way of K763 and cornishe...

Then stop landing in the water.

 

Abbie, stop talking Dutch on these boards. Not everybody will understand.

Yo I figured the train stopped at all of em? a ride would be sweet!
PM sent~~~~~~>
~J

Sure your coccyx can handle it?
~J

ALL the spare shirts should go to K....

no question

Im off to erm, ah, erm, err, ahhh - AH! comb my dog....................

I do it because the chicks dig it.

Because sometimes destiny isn't fast enough and it's a good way to compare host country hospitals to your home country's.

I jump to keep up with my psycho friend B-Rad - whenever we've climbed up an object, it's 3-2-1-C-Ya and he's gone!

As soon as I get over my fear of the dark, I might be comfortable alone up there at night....

Better send him a shirt too, sometimes I just don't seem to pay enought attention and I fall off the exit point first - good thing I always have that baserig near objects and then he has to follow...

BASE is not the answer.

"BASE???" is the question.

"Yes" is the answer.

G.

Here's my entry.

I jump because the government told me to. The Homeland Security Department recently raised the threat level of all objects > 199' to "Hot Pink with really bright polka-dots." So what do you do if you happen to be atop your local object and a terrorist tries to burn it in broad daylight? Jump off, of course. Blind faith in our government, and your pack job, is the only way to keep America safe for freedom. Although neighboring "Allies" such as Canada and "Mexico" say they are cooperating, foreign jumpers are known to exploit weak border security and enter the country illegally.

Ok, I know it's a little too long, but that's due to hidden WMD. I swear.

Colm

Colm

So Jaap, did I win a shirt??? I really REALLY want one...

And I've been meaning to catch up with Abbie...he's been going hard here in my area and I haven't even met him yet!



Peace,
K

No doubt in my fragile, egg-shell-like mind...

Uh...are you sure you want to do that? You may be scarred for life. Trust me, I've actually hung out with the guy.

now thats not nice... lol he is a pretty cool guy, even if he blows both brakelines... lol jk

Hey Russel!

Tell Jaap to give me a shirt! (Can I have some cheese with my whine????)


K

Besides, who says I'm a judge? I'm just the messenger. I've heard the judges are just a bunch of horny old-timers though, so I don't think you have to worry much.

I BASE because for the hours before, and the hours after, I’m thinking about family, work, finances, mortality, consequences, and fear.

For those long moments between exit and landing, I simply Am.

 

Hehehe...



Hi, Mr TSA, do you know what's in my bag?

na.. I will let you blow your own yonkles... :-)

Dude, if you blow your yonkles, how are you going to schlare the tarp?

By landing on rear seatbelts of course!

I BASE jump for all the usual reasons, but the main one is because so many said I can't . . .

When we get BASE all squared away and humming along, and we will one day, I'm going to have to look for another fight, medical marijuana maybe.

NickD
BONG 194

Go to Switzerland, there you can jump leagaly during the day and consume marihuana (more or less leagaly) in the evening...

Nirvana . . .

But, what's this crap about not smoking during the day . . . ?

Seriously, drugs are harmful, but they spawned a generation that finally looked inward, and it was the closest we came to getting it right. The "Just say No" idea is an absurd extreme many bought into because it's easier that way . . . and it's all they know. It's as ugly in there as it is beautiful. It makes you realize how it really works because it strips away all the crap. "Just say No" is the American version of the head banging Mastrasa . . .

Let the Brothers go . . .

NickD
BASE 194

Very well said
Also explains why I find myself SO lost in the real world after multiple days of jumps, EVERYTHING just seems so irrelevant, when all I had to think about was the winds and packing..
Later
Blair

PS I'm with Nick D,

chuckles... funny... someone told me that was a real death camp?

I want one because I am 7 months into recovery and won't walk normal again...stuck with a cane.

Hey everybody,

after much discussion and deliberation, fifty beers, six strippers, two hookers, and a moderate amount of blow, the judges have been able to come to a conclusion.

First Prize - a t-shirt

The first prize goes to Rob Price also known as Skypuppy:

No doubt in my mind at all, Im old school. There's only two reasons to BASE jump. For the girls, and for the glory. Everything else pales.

The jury was awestruck by the honesty expressed in this simple and straightforward answer. The judges unanimously agreed that the only reasons why anybody in his right mind would huck himself off an object would be girls and glory. It's for the same reason we climb Mount Everest, we land on the moon and we travel to the South Pole; to impress the ladies and to live beyond our own death.

Besides, it makes for an awesome t-shirt. Imagine being carried away into an ambulance wearing a shirt that says: "For girls and glory!"

Second Prize - a t-shirt

The second prize winner was immediately obvious. Mainly because it caused two heartstrokes and five premature ejaculations among our old-time jury members. Our lovely Karen Thomas also known as K763 happily admitted:

and besides, it makes me wet.

And that pretty much says it all...

Honourable Mention - a t-shirt

The honourable mention goes to Jamie also known as Fireflyr. He brought out the homie in all of us by his creative use of the contest limitations. It made us drizzle fo' nizzle, put some shit up my fizzle and high-five some of my local brothas. Ice Ice Baby; word to ya momma, Jamie!

Jamie, Karen and Rob. Send me a PM or email with your address and your size (S, L or XL, if you really need M let me know and I'll have another one printed). The shirts will be on their way shortly.

Special Category - potentially a t-shirt

Joel Broadbent also known as yexotay could win a shirt for himself. Unfortunately, his entry was past the deadline. So the judges imposed two conditions. One, did you hurt yourself on a base-jump? Two, if so, would you be willing to share an incident report? Totally understandable if you don't want to. But if you do, a shirt will be coming your way too. Either way, I hope you'll be jumping again soon! Climbing ladders with a cane is totally doable, I've seen it done.

The judges would like to extend a special thanks to all participants and their extraordinary contributions.

The follow-up of this thread will now be dedicated to flaming away at the terrible decisions the judges have made. Three, two, one, go!

 

I dont get girls, I dont look cool, I dont get free stuff - why the fuck do I do this shit?? Well fuck it then - Im off to shoot smack into my feet............

I didn't hurt myself on a base jump...I hurt it on the landing:) I really am not going to share the details just a building jump and blew my knee and broke my leg all the way from my knee to my ankle, pulled the tendons from my toes and broke my foot in many places.

Fuck dude, that sucks. PM me your address and size. Maybe the karma will save me from a similar fate.

All other handicapped people will be getting carrots again.

Got mine today. Nice!

What do you think about having one carrot that gets passed around?
When someone breaks themselves they get the carrot for a while or until someone else breaks themselves and then they send it to them and so on. We could have a BASE jumping community get well carrot! I could start it by sending off the carrot Jaap gave me when I was in the hospital to someone that has injured themselves since. That is of course if Jaap doesn't mind me giving away my present.

That's a splendid idea! I'm all for it! As long as its for people who got hurt on a base-jump or while driving to an object.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll get my own carrot back!

I wonder how long such a scheme will last, but it's worth a shot! Anybody in need of a carrot? PM Russel!

I am not giving up my get well carrot dammit. It's MINE MINE MINE!

Plus I didn't get hurt BASE jumping so there!

Yeah, we'll use Russel's. Your carrot has been in places... I don't think anybody would want it anymore.

It hasn't been IN anything. I might have dry humped it a couple times but what's wrong with having a love carrot?

What a strange coincidence you have reply number 69 in this thread. Shanonononononon!

It's no coincidence.

Now where's my shirt?

Ok, sounds good. So, who is in need of a get well carrot? It's really cute. You must pass it on and hopefully you'll post something here letting us know you've passed it on and to whom.

I'll trade you a shirt for one of my next videos.
It's gonna be called "Keen & A+ble" with an emphasis on the A+.

I just got an HD camera so the quality should be alright. It's gonna be about 45 minutes long, and it won't suck. It should be done by Bridge Day, but just like your shirts it probably won't be ready till the day after. After you see it, you should be able to guess why I BASE jump.

Send the shirt to:
jimmy halliday
P.O. Box 424
Acampo, CA 95220

I'll get it in the vid as long as you don't ask me to sign a liscence agreement.

HA! that's brilliant
.........and ofcourse I'd like to thank gravity...I couldn't have done it without you!.........
~J

I've gotten a lot of requests from people that would like to buy a shirt. To keep the price down, I'll have them done on regular t-shirts instead of polo-shirts.

Paypal your requested size from XS up to XXL and your address to paypal@jaapsuter.com. If you're in the US it's USD 22.50, outside it's USD 26.50. The shirt should be there within two weeks if you're in the US. Outside can take a little longer.

They could be a little cheaper if I could put in a big order at once, but I'm too lazy too coordinate that. I'm making 3 cents per order on these. If you prefer, I can send you the design and you can iron it on your own shirt.

Those people that I have promised t-shirts already, e.g. the contest winners and the ones who succesfully bribed me behind the scenes, will still get their polo-version for free obviously.

Cheers,

Jaap

Jaap,

Check out http://www.cafepress.com.

They'll handle the sales side of your shirts and make them as they're ordered. No ironing involved, and a better quality product than iron on.

(I'm making an assumption that you may be slaving away over an ironing board making these things yourself.)

Lou

Thanks Lou. I'm not slaving over an ironboard for these. I already have a hard enough time to iron my own shirts, let alone iron somebody elses t-shirts.

I used http://www.zazzle.com to print them. I've used Cafe Press in the past, but in my opinion Zazzle delivers higher quality apparel, both the textile as well as the print.

I suppose I could just make the print public and let people buy it directly from Zazzle. But that wouldn't be fun anymore.

Thanks again!

Ah, good! I knew you were smarter than that!

'cept when it comes to folding pilot chutes! *dig!*

Lou