Why I BASE jump...
Warning, this post contains display of male-to-male affection, sharing of emotions and other romantic appreciation. Homophobes, misanthropes and bowling fanatics, be forewarned and flame away!
I just got home this morning from the most incredible six days in my life. I don't think my life has been very boring up to this point, but the past few days have been a ride that I will never forget.
I always write a little story about each jump in my logbook, and here's the one that will accompany my recent jumps at the potato bridge. I figured I'd share it here, because it accurately describes why I base jump.
Why I BASE jump
My plane left Seattle at six in the morning. I had to take the bus from Vancouver the night before, so I had to spend the night somewhere. I dropped DexterBASE and KMonster a PM, knowing they lived in the area. Maybe I could drop by and visit a relatively easy local object.
What I got went far and above the call of duty. Not only did they pick me up from the airport, drove me to their home, then to the object, didn't complain when I decided the winds were too strong, drove back and offered me a place to stay....
They woke up at 4:30am to personally drop me off at the airport! What other sport has people that would do such a thing? Thanks guys, that was amazing! SBCmac was right in this thread
Shortly after arriving in Twin Falls I met another number of people I had previously only communicated with through Dropzone.com. Like a real internet blind-date, there is always some initial hesitation and holding back of emotions.
This time however, it took us about five minutes to turn into a group of people that behaved as if we had known each other for ever.
Case in point; third jump of the day, Abbie is on the bridge and I'm about to do a rear-floater. I start my count down, three, two, and pause....
"Hey abbie..."
Then I jump and scream....
"I F'ed your mom!"
Okay, that's not that funny, I agree, but here's the best part. After my jump, Abbie does a two-way with Collin. They exit, and in mid-air Abbie says, with the driest possible voice...
"Hey Collin..."
...
"Jaap F'ed my mom!
I knew Abbie about 24 hours by that point, and instead of punching me in the face, he acknowledged that I had slept with his mom. (she's pretty hot, by the way)
After that jump we had to hike back up. We all agree that we're pretty damn hungry, and decide to go for pizza. When we get to the top though, a young attractive pizza girl is already waiting for us with two pizza's.
Initially we guess that one of us was smart enough to cellphone ahead and order, but instead she says:
"Is any of you Marty?"
Well, there was no Marty in our group nor was there a Marty anywhere close to the bridge. So instead we decided to buy the pizza off of her, effectively stealing it from Marty. Imagine that! Having fresh pizza delivered to the bridge right as you climb over that brick wall. A blessing!
Meanwhile, some of us are chatting up to this girl and invite her over to a party at Tom's place that Tom himself didn't even know about yet. Then we find out she's still in highschool though. After she gives us her phone-number and walks away, one of us screams: "How old are you?"
What followed can only be explained as the horniest expression of the number eighteen I have ever heard. She turns around with total excitement screaming: "EIGHTEEN!", but really saying: "I'm only sixteen, but don't worry guys, I'll take each and every one of you that night as long as you get me drunk first!"
Twin falls girls... crazy!
Later that night, a group of six base jumpers spend some time in the outback, drinking beers and margerita's. Some are trying to pry a phone-number of a cute waitress. At one point, this girl comes over to grab six of our finished beer glasses, and precisely as she is holding them at nipple height, Jason points out: "nice jugs..."
That was probably the most intelligent joke of the entire trip, and in hindsight I don't think it got quite the appreciated it deserved. Anyway...
Everybody's getting to the point of drunkenness, and when the night is almost to a close, one of the waitresses comes over. She points to a group of whuffo's across the bar and whispers: "they're trying to start a coaster fight."
Faster than any base-jumper reaches for his risers, the entire contents of our table came flying over the bar to these unexpecting whuffo's who promptly retaliated. Never before have I seen a group of people be triggered by a simple comment so quickly. Coasters, menus, salt and pepper, sugar-bags, almost a knife... Everything went to the other side. We clearly won!
Then there was the night jump. I had packed myself intentional line-twist on this one, and it freaked some people out in unexpected ways. It didn't freak us out quite as much as the one guy who accidentally managed to unclip one of his B12 clips when climbing over the railing though.
The night jump was amazing. Standing at the bottom of a dead-quiet canyon. Seeing the bridge against the starry night, lit up by the lantarn poles. It is there that I hugged two male basejumpers that I had only met one day earlier. In what other sport can you not be gay and still get away with that?
This was to be Russel's first night BASE jump. Apparently he went a little headlow, and managed to hurt his knee in the process. We ended up all riding the boat back. Don even took the boat out of the water onto his trailer, so with everybody still in it, we road the boat all the way up to the gate. It's quite a surreal experience to ride the boat from the water onto the land all the way back up. How many people have done that...?
At this point, Russel wasn't feeling too well so it was decided to take him to the hospital. Imagine two guys bringing a third guy in a wheelchair to the hospital. Apparently the conversation went something like this, although I hope that Russel will join us and share the whole story.
"He's not feeling to well, he has a headache and got into the water."
Doctor: "What happened, a car accident?"
"No, he jumped into the water."
Doctor: "Huh? He's not wet."
"Yeah, he was wearing a dry-suit."
Doctor: "Why is a guy in a wheelchair wearing a drysuit and jumping in the river?"
Russel: "Do you want the long version or the short version?"
After which they shared with the doctors that Russel was the first ever paraplegic to make a night base jump. I can't imagine the doctor ever having heard a crazier ER story.
That is, until we had about six people sitting in the hospital room, and we started talking about Twin Falls girls. One of us pointed out that we'd f_ck anything as long as she still breaths. Another one quickly pointed out that even after they are dead, you could still microwave them and have great sex.
And that's when the nurse came walking in again...
A little later the doctor comes in too, and one of us says: "Hey Russel, tell us why you hurt yourself..."
Russel: "I was smoking it low!!!!"
Low altitude smoking had been a running theme this weekend, after I almost killed Abbie when I turned a promised three second delay into a two second delay (and he went from one to one and a half). Russel had smoked it quite low,
, something that wouldn't be beated until later that weekend... Then comes Saturday. I had been packing myself malfunctions all day long. Intentional line-twists and random toggle releases. The last jump of the day was to be a nice fun jump with no problems. Just a nice exit, a two second delay, enjoyment of groundrush and then a nice canopy ride.
The jumper before me was going to try and do a triple-gainer. I had seen two earlier triple-gainers by him (his first two ever) and they were executed flawlessly. The execution on this one was slightly less optimal, and he ended up pitching quite low and on his side. The audience sure got a treat on that one.
So when it was my turn, I must have subconsciously decided to give the audience an even better show, by taking a two second delay, yet opening fifteen feet above the water. You can read all about that in this thread
That night, there was a great but chaotic party at Tom's place. I got to eat my first meat (tri-tip) in six months, and it tasted great! Foolishly enough, I had earlier that week confessed that I had never been pied for my 100th skydive. Apparently base jumpers remember, because I would quickly learn that they had come to the party prepared.
Fortunately, Tom had prepared a little revenge and he had armed me with a spraycan full of whipped cream. So what was meant as a single-person pie attack, quickly turned into a full on seven people whipped-cream fight. Shortly after, people started putting tri-tip streak down their pants. Who would do such a thing?
Anyway, my last two days in Twin Falls were spend avoiding Rauk and PeterK's fire-work attacks. Unfortunately we got winded out so I never got to have my revenge on the bridge. Hopefully I'll be back on Memorial Day for some more fun.
On my way back to Vancouver, I "accidentally"
missed my bus in Seattle, so I was forced to stay another night in Seattle. The winds looked perfect, and this time another local jumper was willing to come pick me up and offer me a place to stay. Thanks Tom D! We climbed the object, but at the top we encountered some of the nastiest winds ever. I think it must have been the wind-vents that messed around with us. You never know which direction they point, eh KMonster? ...
I hang out on these boards way too much, and I know I write a lot of crap. If you made it this far in reading, you clearly have nothing better to do. Go outside and jump!
It was great to meet all of you DZ-dot-commers and the rest in person. It felt like a family from the moment I arrived in Twin Falls. If I could meet any of you guys at my local bowling alley, maybe I wouldn't have to be a base jumper.
So yeah, this is why I base jump. The people. The silent bottom of a canyon in the middle of the night. The beautiful hikes back up. Riding a boat over land in the middle of the night. Seeing a paraplegic guy make his first night base jump. Witnessing and participating in complete anarchy in restaurants, hospitals and people's houses (sorry Jamie and Tom). Laughing for 24 hours a day, for six days straight. Oh, and did I mention the great people?
That is why I base jump. Yeah, and sometimes you get to make a base jump too. I suppose those are kinda neat as well.
See you around guys. Thanks! I had a wicked time!
Everybody who reads this; you're all welcome in Vancouver and will always have a place to stay. Be safe, have fun.
Five seconds....
Dead Jaap
. 
