Basejumper.com - archive

I'm not really sure where to start, so I just pop right in. I've been an active base jumper for just over a year now. I made my first 2 base jumps at BD 2003. My wife was not very supportive, but learned to accept the idea. After coming home from BD '03 I continued to explore base. I made a few jumps with some locals, and then booked myslef a trip to the potatoe bridge over Memorial Day weekend, witha side trip out to the frozen pizza E to get my number... By that time, she still thought I was nuts, but didn't really put up much oppostion to the trip. I return home from that trip and make several more jumps with the locals and then book myself another trip out to the potatoe bridge for Labor Day weekend, she didn't even hesitate about my going. So now I've booked my trip to the Turkey Day boogie out in MO and she asked no questions about that (other than you'll be gone for Thanksgiving?). So at this point I'm thinking that she has gotten pretty used to the idea of me base jumping. 29 jumps in my first year was not setting a blazing pace, but it was feeding my "need" and I felt I was learning alot from it.

Then comes BD 2004, a couple of buddies and I think it'd be nice to get a cabin for the weekend and take the wives/girlfriends (one each.. lol) along. Everything seems great, wife actually seems like she's looking forward to the weekend. We arrive Thursday and she's not overly excited about the videofest, but she doesn't complain about it. Friday comes along and we pretty much waste the day away hanging out and running little errands, everything seems great. I get up early Saturday morning and drive to the hotel to ride the box truck out to the bridge (thinking I'll beat the crowd and the weather) and I got a a quick two way in before the line has a chance to start forming. I rode the bus back to the top, walked a few hundred yards back to the cabin and pack for another one. My other buddies and the girls are out of bed by now, so we all wlak back out to the bridge together so the girls can watch us jump. This is where it all seems to trun South on me. I don't think the wife has barely spoken to me since that jump. I'm not sure what she expected to see, or what she thought was going to happen, but she just clammed up after that.

My quesiton is, Has anyone else ever had an issue like this? Dis a significant other watching you for the first time ever have an ill effect on things?

I mean just when I think she's gotten comfortable with the idea of of me base jumping, she seems to be back o square one. Is she right, is base jumping the root of all evil, or is there just another period of "getting used to the idea" thjat she has to go through?

Surely someone out there has had a similar issue...

My apologies for poor typing skills and bad grammar in this rather long (for me) post.

Ganja "Not quitting, just asking" Rodriguez

BASE is indeed EVIL! My wife is very supporting about all the shit I do and I don't even have life insurance! I got busted up five months ago pretty bad and not once she questioned me about jumping again. When I was down and blue she always said that I was going to jump again in no time. I guess I'm a lucky SOB. She came down the brigde twice already and she enjoyed a lot, last year better due to the decent weather!

Anyway talk to her and don't assume anything.

my gf were the direct oppersit,she got the interest of ME jumping after she saw me jump first time.

I think your wife got a chok seeing you do that for real(people sometimes dont realice before they see it).
I think you´ll need to talk to her,ask why she dont talk to you anymore.Help her understanding..

Best of luck to you my brother

In case you haven't already, I'd advise SERIOUSLY TALKING to her about it...regularly. Before that you might want to reflect on which is more important to you--your wife or BASE...seriously. Some people can't deal with it. It's pretty easy to feel like you're taking a back seat to BASE jumping when you're dating/married to a BASE Jumper. Be sure there's a balance--or you will both end up resenting the other for the way they feel/the things they do.

$0.02
mh

motherhucker
I don't know about getting balance on the feelings, but...
Pullhigh, is getting off pretty easy

I remember back when I came back from Malaysia for the
second time, out of four.

I walked into the house to find it cleaned out and dark
and the little woman was gone.

You are having the same problem as thousands of other people in the world that are invleved in extreme sports. Race car driving, skydiving, base jumping, and all the others.
Just as in skydiving, BASE jumping casuses problems in some relationships.
Like I told my last 2 girlsfriends, 1 fiance, and current girlfriend. Skydiving/Base jumping came before you. You accepted me when you met me as a jumper. If you dont like it jumping will continue after you.

So if you do what I did you will decide what is more important and leave your woman for a new one that accepts your habbits. Or you will do the other and quit jumping.

GOOD LUCK

chicken man

Hi Ganja-
It was nice to meet you at Bridge Day!

I would certainly suggest talking to her immediately and find out what happened in her head after she watched you jump. I've seen it time and again, when the whuffo finally sees you fly off the edge and start plummeting to earth, that they get a reality slap that knocks them on their posteriors.

I've seen BASE jumpers suffer from AIDS, Altitude Induced Divorce Syndrome, many times.

Personally, I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who didn't jump. Can you picture the scene, a testosterone-ridden male following me to BASE boogies, ground crewing, being chief cook and bottle washer??? Maybe if my significant other was an understanding female...but other than that, I really couldn't see it working out for the long run.

The main thing is commumication, in any relationship.

Oh, and even though I'm a jumper, I still can get the heebie-jeebies when watching too much carnage, either on video or in the BD landing zone. After that one dude flew through the trees, took out the TV station satellite antenna, and landed in the middle of the amublances, I didn't want to watch any more landings. I also don't like watching the BD Safety video the night before jumping...watching people get broken up like that makes me even more nervous before my own jumps!

Good luck, hope it all works out for you. (Things always work out how they're supposed to, even if we don't see the larger picture.)

Be safe, have fun, and soft landings!

Peace,
K

I am a little self centered in my jumping.

Do you think being an insensitive pig that
does not talk enough.......

Has anything to do with it ???

I am indeed one of the lucky ones! My partner doesn't seem to mind.

I think what really got her onside was the holiday to the KL comp. It helps when you pay for the lot including a few days before and after the event.

She met other jumpers, their wives and girlfriends and thoroughly enjoyed herself. She took some great video there as well.

I was jumping before we met. I was quite firm in stating that jumping comes first though.

Having recently (under duress as part of my employment) attended a course which included some 'relationship' training. I ruffled a few of the Padre's feathers when I was asked my views on working on a relationship.

My response was "There are 6 billion people in the world. The law of averages says that at least 50 of these would be the perfect partner. If you have to 'work' on a relationship you are in the wrong one."

Think of your partner as a skydiving main. If you don't feel good about it; "cut her away."

Remember, life's too short to waste time on someone that is not one of the 50 in 6 billion.

I hope your woman is the one though!!!

I am the relatively new girlfriend of a BASE jumper and recently saw him jump for the first time. While I did not suffer the same effects as pullhigh's wife, I think I understand where she's coming from. Seeing the person you love plummet towards the earth is a very profound experience. I think the significant other of any BASE jumper, whether or not they themselves are jumpers (I am not), has to reserve a space within themselves that they keep as a safe haven. There has to be somewhere or something that you keep for yourself in case something goes wrong. It is just a matter of degree. In the case of the wife of pullhigh, she has just detatched too much, let the fear of losing him overwhelm her and cause her to allow that space fill her entire being. She also may feel a little resentful because she perceives that her husband is being selfish by putting his love of BASE before his love of her. She needs to remember, however, that BASE is a part of what makes the man she loves with the man that he is. The general consensus seems to be talk, talk, talk. You may lose your wife anyway, but almost certainly will unless you guys can talk about it.

One of the first things I did with my wife, friend at the time, was take her for a Tandem. I took her to Rantoul the first year and it did not go well. She isn't interested in being a skydiver, although she'll still do a Tandem occasionally, and doesn't really drink. From then on I mostly go skydiving alone.

When I started talking about BASE jumping she said she really didn't want me to, but realized I would do what I want regardless. I haven't done my first jump yet, but the other day she told me she wanted to be there for my first jump. I was very surprised...

I never really considered it might have a negative effect...but as someone said earlier, seeing someone you care about step that close to the edge may tend to have a very profound effect. Ask her what she's thinking and be generous in your listening.

People's perceptions are their reality.

I was jumping when I met my girlfriend and she lived up to the day she had an opportunity to start as well. This opportunity came and she enjoyed it with all her heart. A suggestion made to do a mission over the weekend was always without discussion. She wanted to come as well...

Now she broke her back on an unfortunate landing and things have changed. Not that she doesn't want me to jump anymore, en contraire. She simply doesn't want to jump anymore herself for her own reasons even if she would physically be able to. This for sure means that our weekend trips will be filled in with other activities.

She has been thinking of other sports to do in the future and climbing was one of them.

So maybe this turns out to be not so bad after all...

Get well soon baby!

RAYLOSI,
you are right but all wrong.
calling us insensative and pig like is bad, but saying that we dont talk is going way to far.
for instance.
Bridge Day fell on my 10 yr class reunion and my girlfriend was all excited to go to the reunion. So I being sensitive told her to go have fun at my reunion but I was going to BD. My girl is awsome and never complains about me going with or without her.
I think it is because of now much we talk about jumping. and she know how much it means to me.

all kidding aside I have made some very tough decisions about jumping and relationships. they are still easy as I am not married and dont have kids.

I hear ya....tymkoder

It's kinda like real early on last Saturday morning.
I hear my buddy banging on the door to pick me up to go jump.
So I climb off the top, of my old lady.
Throw her a Wash Cloth.
Grab my gear and Run out to go jumping.